if i was in a fictional universe i wouldn’t be the main character i’d probably be that friend of the main character who lacks supernatural powers or special abilities but makes up for it with sarcasm and really lame one-liners
"Augustus is soooo pretentious!!!"
Ohmygod, no way?? It’s almost as if that’s exactly what John Green intended.
"Augustus Waters talked so much that he’d interrupt you at his own funeral. And he was pretentious: Sweet Jesus Christ, that kid never took a piss without pondering the abundant metaphorical resonances of human waste production."